What Actors Miss

Some holidays. Some family vacations.

Weddings.

Graduations.

Other people's shows.

A baby's first laugh.

Dinners with friends.

We do miss things.

For great reasons, and some not so great.

It is useful to decide early on in your career, or at least Now, what is important to you in terms of being physically with other people.

Because we often do not know what our schedules will be.  If we are in the Production Work Lane (see Work Lanes for Actors), in a theatrical production, we likely have our schedule, and know the possibility of Ins and Outs allowed in our contract.  

If we are filiming, there is rarely wiggle room once they give you the inside/outside dates of shooting. 

So. We miss things.

In the 50/50 of human life, with roughly the same amount of positive and negative emotions coursing through our lives, what we can avoid is adding suffering to the feeling of loss, or sadness, regret, or shame at missing family events or holidays or any happening we would attend if...

We weren't working.

There is a scarcity idea for some of us, that we had better take every job offered, because you never know where the next job might be. 

And a lot of truth in the Work begets Work philosophy.

But there is also our human life, enriched by belonging to families, having children, cousins, friends who get married, people we love doing things that we want to enjoy, or honor.

Attention must be paid.

Once those who love us understand a bit about how our schedules might work, they begin to understand the decisions we make around 'missing out'.  You might consider having those conversations with them if they do not appreciate the expectations of certain jobs.

A theatrical production doesn't have Coverage - enough understudies or swings - for us to travel.  

A production shoot is tailored around a location shoot.

We simply have decided we don't ever miss shows unless we are unconscious.

Take some time to think about the next year in your life, and what might happen.  

Some events you can forecast - the holidays will arrive as the calendar dictates.  The seasons of celebration will roll on.

You can predict when someone might graduate, or turn 75, or celebrate 50 years of marriage.  You can decide now, do I want to be there, and what does that look like for my work this year? 

You can send your agent a list of dates, if that is part of your relationship with them.  You can decide you don't want to read for any projects that conflict with a certain event.

You can.

It does not mean that you are cavalier about your career.  

It means you have a life outside work that enriches your work.  

You can also decide you will attend events if they occur when you are in the Ready or Booked Work Lanes only.  And let your loved ones know that.  With compassion.

If you know you want a vacation this year, you can plan now for what would be ideal if you have notice, and what would be a quicker getaway if you don't have much time to plan. If you have a plan, your brain will get to work on ways to make it true.  

Our brains like to be right. So give yours something to work toward.

You truly have more options than you may give yourself. 

What you should be clear on are your reasons.  Suffering occurs when you judge your choices. when you believe you are less loving, less deserving, less considerate because you do not attend an event. 

Let your choices be your choices.  Decisions for your life where you Like Your Reasons. 

Coach yourself on what events are important for you to be there, or get coaching to have clarity.

Notice this is about what is important for You 

Because others, often those who love us, will have their own ideas of what we should not miss. We should not be surprised that sometimes people will have thoughts that lead to feelings of disappointment.

Getting clarity here also means you can have. at the ready, your reasons:

I cannot be there for Thanksgiving, but I will visit the first week in December, and we will get some great time together.

Let me know when you set the date, because I don't want to miss your wedding.

I can join you on Monday and Tuesday at the lake, but not the whole week.

I would love to officiate at your wedding, but my producers are not sure they can release me, so you should ask another friend. And I love that you asked me...

If you are clear with yourself, it will help others understand your decisions.  You do not need to adopt their hurt, or judgement. They are allowed to have their own thoughts about what you do.

But your thoughts matter.  And if you have Thoughts that serve you, that create a feeling of 

Connection

Belonging

Abundance

Generosity

Security

Love

You are serving yourself.  Your life, And your career.

Don't miss out on that.