The Whether Report

I don't know whether to do this or that.

You might think.

And when we give all the power away for that decision to 'I don't know', we lose the opportunity to Find Out. 

Whether.

This works. Or That works.

Or neither.

Decision making is the Single Best Way to propel yourself toward your goals.

Full stop.

Again. All together!

Decision making is the Single Best Way to propel yourself toward your goals.

So.

Why oh Why don't we do it more?

Because we are afraid of feeling a feeling.

Take a simple audition example.

I don't know whether to give full venom in this audition scene, because 'it might be too much', or to be quietly steaming.

You go back and forth a bit.  Maybe ask your scene or taping partner.  

You use your time up (oh, most valuable currency!) and your energy (the psychic kind! and another of your currencies) in a vexing back and forth. 

Maybe 15 minutes go by.  Maybe more. There may be a snack involved. 

You may check your phone. Your feeds.

You certainly may decide the problem is what you're wearing. 

And change.

4 times.

Because you have chosen the thought...

    They might think I'm too much.

    I'm not sure what is best.

    I like both options. (this is great news - Just Pick One!)

    This is my only shot at this role and it has to be perfect.

   I have to nail it.

Any of the above thoughts will create a feeling, an emotion.

This emotion could be Overwhelm. Confusion. Dread. Insecure. Fear.

So you don't decide.  Or wait and wait and ponder and ponder.

And puzzle and puz (for Suess fans!).

And here is the answer.

Just. Decide.

Deciding is freedom.

Let's ride this to the destination.

You go in the room/put it on tape and do it this way. Or that way

2 stops on this train.

ONE You have decided what to do. You commit to it. And when you leave the room, or press send on the upload, you don't have to cycle into feeling regret, or anxiety, because you have your back on this decision. You know there is no 'right' decision. Just your decision.  

And you know that the worst thing that will happen is you will have to feel an emotion.

(You don't book the job.  You may feel disappointment. Casting says 'this is the single worst audition we have ever seen' This is not a thing, friends... You may feel embarrassment. These feelings, if you are willing to feel them in the moment and process them, will last about 15 -30 minutes.)  

There. You made a choice. You felt and allowed the feeling. And you move on.

And you move on with integrity.  You offered your take on that day at that time. Done.

TWO (I didn't forget the train)

You don't really decide which approach is best for that character in that moment, believing the muse will carry it, or worse, you fuzz the approach totally and end up with some kind of lovely but vague choice.  You exit the room/upload.

And then you feel.... what?

Proud? unlikely - unless the muse did land on your shoulder in that moment.

Galvanized by your great take on the scene? Again, unlikely.

Much more likely, you feel regret. Maybe cowardly. And disappointed. And the flavor of this disappointment, as opposed to the one you might feel in One, is that you didn't show them your choice. The first kind of disappointment is more honest, right? I didn't book it.

This kind of disappointment is with yourself. Feels worse.

There is a tremendous liberation in laying out Your Choice, the way You uniquely see a character, and letting that be enough.

And move on. Forward. 

It is a great ride.

The next time you are endlessly checking your whether...

Think.

What am I afraid will happen if I make a choice here?

Arrive in full measure to your audition.  

And bear in mind.

The person (it could well be you!) who books the role didn't book it because they made 'the Right Choice'.

They booked it because they offered the value the producers/director wanted on that day at that time. Nothing has gone wrong here!

A last thought.

It feels Great to know you did what you thought was best in the moment. The clarity when you do that is beautiful and freeing. 

There is too much written about... The Need to Choose Wisely.

Coaching yourself to Grow is more about.

Just choose.

Choose.

The wisdom will come.

Nothing to do with anything addendum. The photo is of flowers given to me, that in the vase, seemed like too much color, too much muchness.  I separated out the flowers and put the ones I favor in a smaller container.  And threw the remainder on the compost pile. 

And they became so beautiful.