Actors and Decisions We Avoid

Unmade Decisions are everywhere.

Jobs, loves, lists of things to do, offers, how to frame a self tape.

Here's the thing to notice.

Not making a decision is a decision.

We all fall into this way of drifting through our lives, especially when others around us are making decisions which affect us.  We sometimes let them override our decision making, or default to their reasoning.

If you have a problem, decisions will solve it.

Deciding to decide. Life changing.

How to know if you are avoiding making a decision.

Are you buffering? Buffering is a way of giving our brains some relief (chips, porn, scrolling, even house cleaning or taking another course... All can be buffering) from something it doesn't want to let us feel.  The modest dopamine hit from the pleasure (this tastes good, this turns me on, this is just checking the news, my apartment needs to be Really Clean Right Now) is temporary, and solves nothing.  Yes, your apartment may be clean. But the decision, or problem to be solved is still there on the other side.

And the problem could be as simple as 

I am bored.

I am unenthused.

I am lonely.

I am unmotivated.

They don't understand me.

She is not calling.

No one gets me.

I will never work again.

We all buffer to avoid feeling our feelings.  Because half of the time, the feelings are Not Fun To Feel.

Humans, with our human brains will seek efficiency.  The more we buffer to avoid a decision, the more we train our brain that 

This Is What We Do.

But note this.

Deciding to Not Decide Is A Decision.

So.

You are more decisive than you thought.

You are deciding every day, what you want, and how you are going to get it.  

Or you are deciding to Wait to Know what you want, and Wait for someone or something to show you How to Get It.

This is human.

Give yourself the gift of noticing when you are doing this.

The next time you reach reflexively for your phone to scroll, or the drink, or the second helping of snacks or switch from what you are doing to Anything Else To Do, just notice that you are doing it.

Ask, what would happen if I Decided to stay in this uncomfortable feeling for 3 minutes.  And just feel it.

What would my brain offer me?

Maybe a solution.

Either way, buffer, or feel your emotions, you are Making a Decision.

Intentional Decisions can be a Superpower.