Actors and Alcohol

We have schedules that often mean different, hurried, isolated meals.

We work a lot of nights, if we are theatre folk.

We decide we are stressed.

We want to drink.

And we do.

To celebrate, commiserate, reward ourselves.

To feel connected to our company, to get to know each other, to let off steam.

Because we want it.

Deserve it.

It tastes good.

We feel better.

All fine.

And that dopamine hit is mighty fine.

But when we use alcohol to escape from our lives, or to dull our painful emotions, or as the only reward after a show.  

When we think about it while working...

I can't wait until I can have a drink.

At least we are going out afterwards.

When we are tired, as we often can be, after a 2 show day, or a long shoot with odd hours, our primitive brain takes over.  That is good in many ways.  Our primitive brain has kept us alive through terrible and wonderful times, by seeking pleasure.

Because that is how our primitive brain responds to the concentrated affects of alcohol.  This is pleasurable.

So.

It must be important.

And there is no judgement here.  We, as adults, make our own choices.

We recognize the negative consequences of drinking.  

Fatigue, slurred words, forgotten comments, headaches, sluggish mornings, puffiness, the money we spend, the body having to work hard to eliminate it from our system.

And still we want it.

For whichever reason.  Sometimes as simple as, it tastes good.

All the ads, the marketing geniuses, the sexy movies, the beautiful bars and glasses and low lighting.

Or just that crisp bottle of good wine you have in the fridge.

Say to us... Enjoy.  You deserve it.  

But let's consider drinking if you drink more than you want.

If you have 3 and you just meant to have 1.

If you drink daily, nightly, through the day.

If you think about it more that you would like.

If you don't like the RESULTS drinking gives you.

There is a way to reduce (and yes, eliminate, if you want) your drinking.

And it doesn't involve a 12 step program, or a white knuckle approach or hiding your bottle or turning down all invitations.  

Important: This is not an approach for someone who is non functioning as a result of dependency, who is in danger of self harm or harming others. This is a doable approach for those who want to explore other choices about alcohol.

The Way is to coordinate with your prefrontal, planning brain.  The only tool you really need.

It can take about 6 -8 weeks to reduce your desire for alcohol.  And it can be more work to drink occasionally, or what you would consider an 'appropriate' amount, than it is to stop consuming altogether.  

Let's back up..

Why does it take more personal work to drink occasionally than it does to not drink at all?  Because to drink sometimes, if you are prone to over drinking (Define that for yourself), you need to plan.  That means thinking about drinking - what, when, how much.  To not drink, to choose to eliminate the desire pattern that loops on itself to continue the drinking, is simple, because you make the decision, and don't have to keep deciding.  

But totally up to you, and how much you can manage your mind.

Changing the way you drink, and think about drinking is totally doable, when you want to change.  Just know that.  We will go into further techniques in upcoming posts, but if you want to start Thinking About Your Drinking, read on.

Here is a quick start approach.

Write down how much you have had to drink in the last week.  Be specific, with the amount, the type, and the location.

'I had 2 glasses of Pinot Noir at a bar with my cousin from out of town. Then I had a shot of whiskey at home.;

'I had 2 bottles of merlot in my apartment over the course of the weekend'

Without judgement, just write it down.  Just know where you are now, with your relationship with Alcohol. 

Now, circle each time you drank more than you would have liked.

Decide how much you want to drink for the next week. 

And be compassionate with yourself.  And honest.  This process is about reducing your alcohol intake so you can like your choices, not about punishing yourself or living in some ideal world you believe is 'best'.

Then, write it down.  And drink only that amount, and type of alcohol (ie, bourbon and water, Gin and tonic with lime, 2 lite beers - be specific.)

Here is the most important part.

Don't drink today.  If you want a drink now, or tonight, tell yourself: I can have it in 24 hours.

That's it.  That's the start.

Here's what this can look like:

Go through one week, where every drink you have is planned in advance.  

It is Tuesday.  Tomorrow, you want a drink (or more).  Write down exactly what you will have (I will have 2 beers at the bar after the show).  And Just Have That.

It is Wednesday.  You know tonight you are having the 2 beers at the bar.  If you want to drink Thursday also, you have to write it down at least 24 hours in advance.  And again, be specific.

If you falter, the next morning, write down what you drank, where, and why.  It could be as simple as 'I was invited out.' Or 'Someone gave me a bottle' Or 'We toasted someone after a show'.  If on Wednesday night, you have 3 beers instead of 2, you might write 'Planned for 2 beers, then a friend bought a round and I just drank it because it was free'.

Whatever the reason, write it down. That gives your higher brain the chance to reflect on what and why.  Try to write a sentence that could be the thought you had.  And just notice.  What were the circumstances?  What did you feel?  What this helps our brain to do is become conscious about our choices.  To create a life where drinking is a choice, not just a mindless habit.

What you are starting here, is the path to reducing your desire for alcohol.  

It is natural that you have desire, possibly a strong desire, because we are wired to seek pleasure.

And pleasure in a concentrated form, as is alcohol, seems important to our primitive brain, so it seeks it, and seeks more. 

Just like eating more to save for winter, in case you can't hunt and gather food then.

But food wasn't concentrated then - there was no sugar or flour.

And alcohol wasn't a thing.

So the very instinct that drives us to drink, and creates the desire, is one that evolved us to today.

But now, the back end consequences of drinking can be unfortunate.

You get to decide, as an adult, what you want to do.

Just know that there is a way to change when and what you drink.  When you are ready.

There will be more blogs about Actors and Alcohol, but please seek coaching if you want to work more deeply on this.

Know you are not alone.  The emotional work of acting leads to an elevated emotional state and the brain thinks it needs to stay there.  If you get a natural high from performing, or applause, or praise, or just want to ' let loose' after the discipline of the work... the brain seeks what has worked before.  What feels good fast?  Sometimes that answer, for the primitive brain, is alcohol.

Sometimes, in a long run, you are tired, and it seems like a good pick me up.

Sometimes it is just a habit.  Tastes good. Is familiar.  Is the quickest way to feel better.

But know that what is really happening is the dulling of feelings.

And that is not, at our core, who actors are.  

Not dulled. But feeling.

For private coaching:  Coaching Consult