Your History with Time

Somewhere along the way, you developed a relationship with time.  Perhaps it was when you were young, and your parents were always super early to everything (hello, first birthday party guest!).  Maybe it was when you realized you wanted to be sure other people were already at the read through before you walked in.  

We all know whether we are generally 'late' or generally 'early'.  

The question is why? 

What does it say about you when you are late meeting a friend for coffee, or a drink?  What about a trainer - or doctor?  Are you more likely to 'be on time' if you are paying someone for a service?  Or the union requires it?  Or there is a penalty for not being there promptly?

If someone is late to meet you, how long will you wait?  In this age of instant communication, what cushion do you allow friends when they don't reach out when you are waiting for them?  15 minutes?  An hour?  As long as it takes?

Similarly, how long do you think friends and colleagues should be content while waiting for you? Does it make it 'ok' because they have their phone to scroll through?

Do a thought download about time and your feelings about time.

Decide what you want your result to be:

I am a person who does not keep people waiting.

I value people who honor a commitment to me to show up.

I am deciding that showing up for a family member or a friend is as important as showing up for a work call, or a doctor's appointment, or a summons in court.

I decide how I use my time.

Compose your own thoughts about time.  Read each one aloud.  How does each one make you feel? 

Does one thought evoke a feeling that serves you?  

Does one thought create a feeling that will motivate you to plan your calendar to honor your most valuable currency?

If so, you are ready to Plan Your Calendar!

Your calendar...

You may resist using a calendar.  You may find them limiting, reducing your capacity to be spontaneous, off the cuff, creative!

Au contraire...

Your calendar can be your best friend if you give it a chance.  Far from being a limiting factor in your life, it can Constrain your focus so that you Actually Get Things Done, and have even More Time to enjoy... whatever you like to enjoy in your free time.

Constraint.

What is that is this context? 

Constraint allows you to give beautiful focus to fewer things.  We are not using the concept in a 'forceful' manner, but rather in a supportive one. 

If a championship runner constrains to the correct lane, she is more likely to record an excellent time.  If a director constrains a rehearsal to be a line through, the cast is more likely to focus on parts of the show that need cue pick up or further line work.

In this generous reading of constraint, you will decide how many hours a week you will devote to work (depending on what focus of work life you are in - see Work Lane Tool to know which you are in currently), how many hours to life management (doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, etc) and so on.  

Let's go back to the thought you chose about your relationship to Time.

And the feeling that thought evokes.

Commit to yourself that your days, weeks, years and yes, dreams, are worth your creating the best version of a planning calendar for yourself. Every time you doubt yourself, or find yourself wondering what to do with your time, or wonder why you feel so behind, go back to that thought, and the feeling.  

The feeling should be able to drive the action you need to get the results you desire.

Here is an example:

I want to organize my calendar.

My thought about the calendar: 

I am a person who spends time doing what I choose to do, not reacting to what life throws at me.

My feeling created by that thought:

Confidence.

This feeling, confidence, can galvanize me to spending no more than an hour each week planning, which will result in the very thing I want - the Best Use of my Time!

Others may have a thought that creates a feeling of Peace (no more rushing out the door in a panic).

Or Security (no more missing appointments, or being late learning lines, or turning in a self tape at the last moment, heart racing that my tech won't fail me....)

Find the thought and feeling partnership that activates Your Action.  No one but you can discover that!

OK. Ready to start planning.  With constraint!